It is A Matter of Principle - Creating Boundaries - Monthly Gedolim Story
The following story was shared just this past week in the Ami Living's Purim issue and told over in the "Aha! Moments" column by Rabbi Yoel Gold, a popular lecturer, educator and filmmaker. It is a story about a respected caterer who showed true greatness as he stuck to his guns and upheld his morals, in order to do business with a client who challenged them.
His unwavering dedication to standing up for whats right, is truly admirable and therefore his story is being shared for this months' "Monthly Gadol Story.
I hope you enjoy, (especially - since this is a catering story and from a magazine's Purim issue - the delicious ending)
All the very best,
Yitzy Schweitzer
His unwavering dedication to standing up for whats right, is truly admirable and therefore his story is being shared for this months' "Monthly Gadol Story.
I hope you enjoy, (especially - since this is a catering story and from a magazine's Purim issue - the delicious ending)
All the very best,
Yitzy Schweitzer
It is A Matter of Principle - Creating Boundaries - Monthly Gedolim Story
Yehuda Fryer is the owner of Toast Cafe, a catering business in Manchester, New Jersey. He recently got a a call from a woman who wanted to hire him to cater her sons Bar Mitzvah on a Motza'ei Shabbos. After a brief conversation about her meal choice, she told him that her party planner would be in touch soon.
A short time later, the call from the party planner came through and the two of them discussed the details. Yehuda asked to see the floor plan and when he did he noticed that there would not be a Mechitza (boundary). He called the party planner to ask her about it and she said that there was not going to be one. It would be a mixed event.
Outright, on the spot, Yehuda told the party planner, "I am not going to cater a mixed event, but I'll be more than happy to deliver the food." The party planner listened and said she would call the mother to let her know.
The mother was very upset about this and called Yehuda immediately. "What are you talking about? You're not going to cater my sons Bar Mitzvah because it's mixed?" she asked him incredulously.
"I have principals," Yehuda replied "and one of them is that I don't cater mixed events. If you want, I can deliver the food and you can get your own wait staff and whatever else you need".
"You're willing to lose a $25,00 job because it is a mixed event?" she asked again wanting to make sure.
"I don't do mixed events" Yehuda replied. "I am sorry, but I can't go against my values."
Two minutes later, the party planner called. "I just want you to know that woman is fuming," she informed him "You catered her son's friends' Bar Mitzvahs and he wants the same thing --- everything from the special stations you set up to the way the waiters dress. They loved the vibe."
"I understand that," Yehuda respectfully replied "but it's a line I am not willing to cross. I don't do mixed events"/
Three or four days later, he got another phone call/ "Is this Rabbi Fryer?" the man on the line asked.
"This is Yehuda Fryer. How can I help you?"
"You have no clue what kind of place you are going to have in Gan Eden (paradise/the Garden of Eden)" the man replied, but Yehuda had no clue what he was talking about.
"I am the Rav of the grandparents on one side of the Bar Mitzvah boy's family" the man explained. Apparently, the grandfather had called him and told him "Our daughter is making a Bar Mitzvah, but she warned us that it is going to have mixed seating. 'We'd love to have you but we're letting you know in advance' she told us. The thing is we don't go to mixed events."
It turned out that not only would there be mixed seating, but there was also going to be mixed dancing among other not Tzniusdik (modest) things. The grandparents were unwilling to give their seal of approval for such an event; ir certainly was not the proper way to celebrate a Bar Mitzvah boy's acceptance of the Oihl Mitzvos (the yolk of Mitzvos).
A short time later, the grandfather had gotten a second call from his daughter saying that there was going to be a Mechitza. When he asked her what had changed her mind, she explained that her son was so adamant about having the same caterer that his friends had used that he would not let them consider anyone else. It had to be Yehuda's company. It had to be Toast Cafe.
(It had to be Toast Cafe or the whole Bar Mitzvah plan was toast - ahem sorry that wasn't in the article. I just wanted to add this little joke in. My apologies. Back to the story.
Since it had to be Toast Cafe, the parents knew that they would have to make a Mechitza. So they did.
"Becuase you refused to budge, the grandparents will be able to attend their grandson's Bar Mitzvah and the family will have wonderful memories for a lifetime", the Rav concluded.
Now, not only did Yehuda get the job, but it ended up being even bigger and more profitable then expected - because all the people who had refused to attend the Bar Mitzvah without a Mechitza were suddenly willing to come!
This story teaches how important it is for one to conduct their business dealings honestly and to stand up for what you know is right, even when it could cost you. Simply because it is the right thing.
A short time later, the call from the party planner came through and the two of them discussed the details. Yehuda asked to see the floor plan and when he did he noticed that there would not be a Mechitza (boundary). He called the party planner to ask her about it and she said that there was not going to be one. It would be a mixed event.
Outright, on the spot, Yehuda told the party planner, "I am not going to cater a mixed event, but I'll be more than happy to deliver the food." The party planner listened and said she would call the mother to let her know.
The mother was very upset about this and called Yehuda immediately. "What are you talking about? You're not going to cater my sons Bar Mitzvah because it's mixed?" she asked him incredulously.
"I have principals," Yehuda replied "and one of them is that I don't cater mixed events. If you want, I can deliver the food and you can get your own wait staff and whatever else you need".
"You're willing to lose a $25,00 job because it is a mixed event?" she asked again wanting to make sure.
"I don't do mixed events" Yehuda replied. "I am sorry, but I can't go against my values."
Two minutes later, the party planner called. "I just want you to know that woman is fuming," she informed him "You catered her son's friends' Bar Mitzvahs and he wants the same thing --- everything from the special stations you set up to the way the waiters dress. They loved the vibe."
"I understand that," Yehuda respectfully replied "but it's a line I am not willing to cross. I don't do mixed events"/
Three or four days later, he got another phone call/ "Is this Rabbi Fryer?" the man on the line asked.
"This is Yehuda Fryer. How can I help you?"
"You have no clue what kind of place you are going to have in Gan Eden (paradise/the Garden of Eden)" the man replied, but Yehuda had no clue what he was talking about.
"I am the Rav of the grandparents on one side of the Bar Mitzvah boy's family" the man explained. Apparently, the grandfather had called him and told him "Our daughter is making a Bar Mitzvah, but she warned us that it is going to have mixed seating. 'We'd love to have you but we're letting you know in advance' she told us. The thing is we don't go to mixed events."
It turned out that not only would there be mixed seating, but there was also going to be mixed dancing among other not Tzniusdik (modest) things. The grandparents were unwilling to give their seal of approval for such an event; ir certainly was not the proper way to celebrate a Bar Mitzvah boy's acceptance of the Oihl Mitzvos (the yolk of Mitzvos).
A short time later, the grandfather had gotten a second call from his daughter saying that there was going to be a Mechitza. When he asked her what had changed her mind, she explained that her son was so adamant about having the same caterer that his friends had used that he would not let them consider anyone else. It had to be Yehuda's company. It had to be Toast Cafe.
(It had to be Toast Cafe or the whole Bar Mitzvah plan was toast - ahem sorry that wasn't in the article. I just wanted to add this little joke in. My apologies. Back to the story.
Since it had to be Toast Cafe, the parents knew that they would have to make a Mechitza. So they did.
"Becuase you refused to budge, the grandparents will be able to attend their grandson's Bar Mitzvah and the family will have wonderful memories for a lifetime", the Rav concluded.
Now, not only did Yehuda get the job, but it ended up being even bigger and more profitable then expected - because all the people who had refused to attend the Bar Mitzvah without a Mechitza were suddenly willing to come!
This story teaches how important it is for one to conduct their business dealings honestly and to stand up for what you know is right, even when it could cost you. Simply because it is the right thing.
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