Teenage Perspective Poem: Bruises in the Mind / 120 Poems Note

Dear All,

This poem contains a difficult and sensitive topic. You will understand more, as you read my introduction However before we start, I just want to paint a bit of happiness and say to you all a major thank you, as you have now helped me share 120 poems on the blog. This very special and sensitive poem was chosen to commemorate this milestone, which of course, would not be possible without all of you.

I cannot express my joy at reaching this milestone, adequately enough. It has taken me over a year and a half to reach it and I am so grateful.

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Once again, all I can say is, simply, THANK YOU ALL SO VERY MUCH.

May Hashem bless all of us, with abundant happiness, health and hatzlocha and may we march towards Moshiach as one, speedily in our days,

I hope you enjoy the introduction below, as well as the poem

Yitzy Schweitzer

The following poem you are about to read is the fifth in my "Teenage Perspective Poem" series, titled "Bruises in the Mind", which tells the story of a young mans struggles as he tries to forget about, or at the very least, come to terms, with his abusive and traumatic childhood. The experiences of his younger years have left un-explainable scars and holes in his now weak and hopeless heart and the joys of a normal, youthful and colorful childhood, was never realized and is only a monster in his utterly terrifying nightmares.

He so wishes to wash away the past...but the waters seem to have other plans, as they try everything to drown him in the waves of despair instead. His chances to survive and heal, are slipping from his grasp at incredibly fast speeds and it seems, sometimes, that all hope is lost.

I hope you can understand the importance of the poem, despite its difficult and ultra-sensitive topic. I write these teenage poems, only to try bring some understanding to these fragile and ultimately unavoidable issues and I hope you will find meaning from my words.

Best Wishes,

Yitzy Schweitzer

Bruises in the Mind - Poem
Counting seconds, counting minutes, hours and days
Lost on my path, can’t find my way, enclosed by the maze
Running circles, endlessly, causing me to collapse
Losing faith in myself, losing belief in the power I have

Oh, when will I wake up
To the bright skies and warming sun?
When, oh when will I feel whole
From my fears, I would no longer have to run?
I’m praying and crying for my bruises to heal
But they never seem to fade away
Continuing to bleed, spilling blood like a water stream
Every single day.

I cannot erase the memories from mid
I see them in replay every time I close my eyes
Can’t ever go to rest without the nightmare inside my head
When I wake up, all I feel is fire from the hot tears on my bed

Oh, when will I wake up
To the bright skies and warming sun?
When, oh when will I feel whole
From my fears, I would no longer have to run?
I’m praying and crying for my bruises to heal
But they never seem to fade away
Continuing to bleed, spilling blood like a water stream
Every single day.

Is there anyone out there who understands my pain?
Or is just me getting drenched in the pouring rain?
Can’t find shelter, can’t find mental closure from the storm inside
No mental house in the woods, to warm my soul and relax my mind

Oh, when will I wake up
To the bright skies and warming sun?
When, oh when will I feel whole
From my fears, I would no longer have to run?
I’m praying and crying for my bruises to heal
But they never seem to fade away
Continuing to bleed, spilling blood like a water stream
Every single day.

Oh, when will I wake up
With the memories of a calming dream?
When will I feel whole
Knowing my fears were just a unrealistic scheme
My bruises have subsided,
Finally they’ve faded away
Now, I can finally breathe with a smile
As I great a new day